Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Home Visit #1/Encouragement...


Today we are scheduled for our first Home Assessment visit. I'm full of a million emotions but I feel better about this appointment than the last one; hopefully no "break-downs" after this one. Also, we will be talking about my favoritest topic in the whole world....ME, US!!!! Easy Peasy!

AL sent me and Mr. M the assessment questions last week. I wanted to try and get it all filled out before today, but I wasn't successful.  One would think that answering questions about yourself, your family, upbringing, everything you have ever thought, said, felt.

I suggest that everyone have to fill out these type of questionnaires. Not to qualify for anything, but they spark some interesting discussion points between you and your partner. Sometimes looking at the cold, hard facts of your life can make you seem like someone you aren’t.

 For instance, when we were filling out Joe’s marital history. Most of you know, he has been married before…twice. I KNOW the situation, but on paper, especially the dates, don’t look good.

My amazing step-son came into our lives when he was 9. Again, you might know the story (sorry if you don’t but that’s a bit much to share online), on paper, don’t look good.

My disability, I get it, I know what I can and cannot do, on paper, you get the drill. I just hope that when we meet with AL today we are able to convey WHO we really are… in life, real life, not just on paper.

Anywho… I wanted to share a post that I made last month on the Adoptive Families website. I posted it, got some nice responses and forgot about it. Today, I was checking out the site and remembered my post. There was a new comment that made me feel so much better about this adoption and my disability.
Thank you Andrea25 for encouraging me with your success story.

Read on my little chickaroos…

My post:
After 10 years of infertility we had truly given up. I thought I could be ok raising my DH’s daughter (during summers and vacations) and his son (15) full time. Don’t get me wrong, I adore them, and they return the love tenfold. But something is still missing. I want to be someone’s Mom.
I have Muscular Dystrophy and use a power wheelchair. It’s a part of who I am. I’m still 100% woman/human, so I was always surprised when I expressed my deep desire to have children that people would look at me like I have 9 heads.
“Why would you want a baby? It would be too hard for you? If you get pregnant the baby could be like YOU” (that particular nasty one was from a fertility Dr. who refused to help us)
But I’ve never been one to fit into stereotypes. Like all of the other successes in my life, having a child will be a reality. So when my DH and I finally made the decision to adopt, I was over the moon when I explained my disability to the worker at the agency she replied, “Being in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you can’t be a Mom.”  Wow! Without even knowing it this woman only reaffirmed my thoughts exactly. For once, it clicks. This is what I want.
We are at the beginning of the beginning, just turned in our application and fee. Finishing up the packet and need to schedule a Home Assessment.  So, I’m here, I’m nervous, excited and every other emotion in the world.


Hi Sunniemom!!
I read your post and felt that I needed to respond.  My husband is quadriplegic and wheelchair bound.  In our late 20’s we decided we wanted to start a family, so we joined the fertility roller coaster.  After several rounds of IVF, we decided to adopt.
Our family and friends were very supportive, but we knew what everyone was thinking - how are they going to do this? 
My husband and I know that everything in our life is harder, more expensive and more challenging.  Adoption was just another challenge.  When we sought out an open adoption agency (we talked to many), but they said we would have a longer wait because he was in a wheelchair.  Obviously we found an agency that was supportive.
Long story short, we went through the paperwork, doctor appts, home studies, etc etc.  From the time our letters went into circulation to the time our little man was placed in our arms, 16 months!  Now our little one is 15 months and just the joy of our lives.
He LOVES riding around on his DaDa’s lap and has learned to stand on the foot pedals and go for a ride.
Since you have a strong desire to be a mom, please stick with it!!  Yes, it can be overwhelming and trying, but when you look at your child’s face, nothing else in the world matters.
Many prayers to you!!

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