Wednesday, August 24, 2011

If one more "professional" tells me...

how difficult it will be to be chosen by a birthmother, I'm going to flip!!!

Don't know if you are all familiar with my situation but here's the Cliff notes version.
I have Muscular Dystrophy, use a wheelchair, work full-time, volunteer, advocate, yada yada. My "husband" of 9 years and I are not legally married.
Not by choice.

We had a ceremony and live like every other married couple.

IF we were to legally marry than I would lose my medical insurance and personal care attendants’ (which I need for daily living). Our incomes would be combined and I would then be ineligible for my medical and with a pre-existing condition... you get it.

Well... we are with an agency but I've also been looking into other places. I always explain the situation, I normally get a

"Sorry but we find that unmarried couples are not stable and don't get picked by BM's"

Got it. Fine. I understand but it seems like lately more and more doors have been shut in our faces. I had one place send me a page of reasons why BM’s don’t pick unmarried couples.

"Contact us when you get married."

 Or all the grants and loans say "husband" and "wife" "Date of marriage".

 Ug... on top of that yesterday I was talking with a lawyer and he said,

"Because you are disabled your chances of being chosen by a BM are much lower."

Yes-thank you, I know! Hey, that's my life. It's harder.

"Oh you're right Mr.Lawyer man. What was I  thinking? I forgot that I am damaged goods and why should I be allowed to experience the joys and pains of motherhood? My Bad! I'll just roll back under the rock I came from and you won't have any trouble outa me"

HA! I'm tough. I'm a fighter! But when it's something that is so near to my heart. Something so important, don't step on my dreams.

A birthmother will pick us. Why? Because we are awesome! Duh! So, there!

****For my next rant and rave I will be complaining about our AL and her supervisor! Our HomeStudy was suppossed to be complete early this month. It is now almost Septemeber and her supervisor has not signed off on it!!!!!! Without the HomeStudy we can't do ANYTHING!!!! No grants/loans/inquiries into kiddos. NADA!!! GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!!

j/k-I'll try to be more patient. :)