Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Dear Birthmother

This has been the most difficult letter I have ever had to write. I wanted to be able to introduce US without being too self-righteous. I want her to know about the kids. I wanted her to know how much we love each other and how much love we have for this child who isn't even here yet. I wanted her to know about my disability but I didn't want her to think that it would inhibite me from being a mother. I hope I was able to convey all these things. Please, Please, Please give me your feedback. My feelings will not be hurt, this is the most important thing I've ever written and I feel like I can't get all my feeling across.
Tell me what you think...

Dear Birthmother-

Hi! We are Mr. M and S. We have been together for over 9 years and have built our relationship on love, laughter, trust and understanding. We have always been firm believers that “everything happens for a reason”. There were several events, paths and decisions that brought us all to this moment. We thank you for taking the time to get to know us. We are thrilled at the possibility of expanding our family through adoption. It is our hope that throughout the following pages you will get a sense of who we are as a couple, individuals and parents.

Like many other couples going through the adoption process, we have dealt with infertility. We have tried for several years to have a baby together. In time we realized that sustaining a pregnancy wouldn’t be a reality for us. Here we are, hoping to grow our family through you. We truly feel that every single child deserves love, security, self-worth and the skills to succeed. We also feel that knowing who you are and where you came from helps to grow an independent, loving and empathetic adult. This is why we feel strongly about an open-adoption plan. We want your child to always know who you are and the selfless act you made for them. Your child will grow up loved, encouraged, and passionate about life. He/she will grow up in a home that teaches and practices tolerance, accountability and understanding. There will always be dogs and cats to play with. Two parents who love and respect each other madly, an older brother and sister, a great big extended family, memories filled with family gatherings, vacations, holidays, hugs and kisses.

In many ways we are the average blended family. Mr. M brought from a previous relationship two wonderful children. "Q" is 16 and "S" is 12. I (S) could never imagine in my wildest dreams that I would have two respectful, loving and compassionate step-children. I am privileged to have such close relationships with both of them. "Q" lives with us full time visiting his bio-mother during the summers and "S" spends every summer and Christmas at our home.

In other ways we aren’t average. I (S) am a wheelchair user. I have been using a wheelchair for the past 14 years. When I was 12 I was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy. If you’re not familiar with it, don’t worry, we hope to answer many of your questions throughout the following pages. Our goal is not to deter you from seeing the wheelchair, but to encourage you to understand that being in a wheelchair in no way diminishes the ability to parent your child.


Mr. M & S

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